Wednesday, February 23, 2011

A Prologue

Would you do me a favor?  Would you read the following excerpt and tell me what you think of it?  Would you, or your child, be interested in a novel that started with this Prologue?

             Two humans walked through the forest, their footsteps making no sound.  One carried a small baby wrapped tightly in a warm fox fur blanket.
    "You aren't really going to leave her here?" asked the one holding the baby.  "She will never know the true prophecy given about her."
    The second human nodded.  "I understand, Sara, but it's the only way to keep her safe until she's old enough to take care of herself."
    Sara sighed, but said no more.  There was a short silence, in which the two walked north to a large pine tree.  Sara broke the silence.
    "But Tom, how do you know if the Wood Faeries will want to take her in?  She isn't their kind, you know."
    Tom watched as the baby stirred in the blanket.  "It's the only way.  Even if she is half of one faerie and half another–"
    But he wasn't able to finish his sentence.  As they halted in front of the pine tree, there was a soft rustling sound, and a faerie stepped in front of them.  She wore a dress made of many leaves sown together, and shoes made of thin, bendy wood.  She had transparent wings that looked like autumn leaves, her eyes were the color of fresh spring leaves, and her hair was as red as a rose.  She smiled slightly at them, yet looked uncomfortable at the sight of the baby.
    “Hello, Alei,” Tom greeted.  The faerie nodded curtly.  She stared at the bundle, her eyes slightly narrowed.
    “Is this it?” she asked, not taking her eyes off the baby.
    “Her,” Sara corrected.  Alei swung her head around to glare at Sara.  Sara stumbled back half a step, looking at the pine needle-covered ground.
    “It is,” Tom said softly.  “It's her.”
    Alei hesitated, then held out her arms to take the baby.  Tom carefully placed the bundle into the faerie's arms.  Alei watched as the baby blinked open her eyes and looked at her with one amber eye open.
    “What kind is she?” Alei asked, looking at Tom expectantly.
    “Half and half.”
    “She is a faerie, though?”
    “Yes.  Her mother and father were both faeries.”
    Alei took a deep breath, nodded, and turned around.  She stepped towards the tree again, then paused.
    “What does she take after?” she asked, not turning around to face Tom and Sara.
    “A fox and a dove.”
Alei looked down at the ground, then looked up and pressed her hand against the tree.  It split in two, revealing a small tunnel in which Alei disappeared into, leaving Sara and Tom alone in the forest.

    Tom looked at Sara, and turned around to go back to the village.

**Note** This except is copyrighted material.  No rights are given or implied.

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Suswan said...

Amazingly excellent! Children's literature is my thing. It's what I read the most of, and this par to a lot of things I've read.
Ever since she could talk Mika has been coming up with wonderful, imaginative names and now she has developed the ability to wrap a story around those names. She was born to do this!
My FAVORITE part is the description of the fairie, "She had transparent wings that looked like autumn leaves, her eyes were the color of fresh spring leaves, and her hair was as red as a rose." I can SEE her!

hppyfrmgrl said...

Yep, I would enjoy it and I know my daughter would too!

jean in newcastle said...

It left me wanting to know more. Why is being half and half a problem? What will happen to this baby as she grows up?

Hedgehog said...

Fantastic beginning for a story!! I would love to see how it develops.

Cassie said...

Great descriptions! You really painted a great image and left the reader wanting more. Keep up the good work!

Unknown said...

Very good. I would definitely give it a go. My daughter would probably love this kind of book also.